2011年6月2日 星期四

Discussing Cause 2

Michael Williams, who opened a small music store selling compact discs on September 5, closed his shop on December 19.  What causes the enormous change? One reason is that the location of the music store is too remote to find out. It is on a small side street just outside of town. Moreover, there is a shopping center that has two large music stores which appeals to people nearby. Another reason is the cost price.  Michael Williams had spent too much money on the CDs before investigating what the residents like.  He also paid his employees too much salary that over budget.  In addition to the cost price, the shop also opens at the time when less people walk past the store.  Finally, the CDs didn’t sold well because of the residents of the Fairfax are approximately middle-aged people who maybe aren’t interested in the CDs for hip-hop and rock.  In sum, before running the business, people should think over every situation and do correct alternatives.

8 則留言:

  1. when "less" people walk past the store.
    那是little的比較級
    這裡應該用fewer吧!

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  2. there is a shopping center that has two large music stores which appeals to people nearby.
    裡的 which appeals 我會直接寫"appealing to~"
    因為there is 後面的V是ING型態
    the CDs didn’t sold well because of the residents of the Fairfax are approximately middle-aged people who maybe aren’t interested in the CDs for hip-hop and rock.
    裡的because of 我會刪掉of
    因為because 可以後面直接接句子

    以上~

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  3. He also paid his ... salary that over budget.
    "over budget"前面是否要加上"was"?

    如有誤,請不吝嗇指教。

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  4. 1.What causes the enormous change?
    ﹡causes→caused
    2.He also paid his employees too much salary that over budget.
    ﹡that over budget→that was over budget
    3.Finally, the CDs didn’t sold well
    ﹡sold→sell

    ﹡所有時態統一哦,建議用過去式。
     以上,淺見…

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  5. 時態用過去是比較恰當
    salary that over budget要加動辭哦
    when less people walk把less改成few

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